Playing with fire can sometimes be insanely hot. If you like rough sex, BDSM, and various kinks and fetishes, you’ve definitely heard of temperature play before. But, if you haven’t, our beginner’s guide to wax play will show you what you’re missing!
For starters, temperature play is a popular BDSM kink involving the use of hot/cold substances and objects during sex. If you rub an ice cube on a person’s genitals or nipples, or if you drip some molten wax on their skin, it will fire up their neuroreceptors for a highly sensual effect. You can also take the kink to extremes. Some people use flames, torches, or fire cups on the skin directly for heat torture. Conversely, intense temperature play can also involve the insertion of ice cubes into a submissive’s vagina or anus.
When it comes to wax play, it doesn’t necessarily need to be a part of hardcore BDSM scenes. Many people can use hot wax lightly during foreplay or penetrative sex as a way of adding some dominance/submission into their bedroom activities. Still, it can be a bit painful and that’s why it’s not for everyone. Playing with candle wax requires consent and great patience or attention because it can cause discomfort and skin irritations. However, if you’re into it and learn how to do it correctly, you’ll definitely get to experience some unique sensations and squirming orgasms.
The Best Candle
So how should you start, and what’s the best candle you could use? Well, the safest candles are those specifically made for wax play since they are manufactured by sex toy makers. One of the best types is made of soy. They do not burn at high temperatures, and they also cool quickly. Moreover, soy is an organic material, which lowers the risk of irritations. However, some people don’t like their softness/stickiness.
If you’re tempted to buy standard candles from a retail store, it’s best to choose some that burn at low temperatures. That includes 100% paraffin or massage candles. Paraffin candles are super easy to clean and remove. Yet, they can cause temporary redness on the skin, but most BDSM fans will not mind this. What’s more, you should avoid gel, taper, scented, metallic, or beeswax candles since they have a high melting point. They can cause serious burns and scars while making wax removal incredibly difficult.
Another thing to note is that candle colors will also have an effect on the temperature of the wax. For example, white will drip much cooler compared to black. Yet, white also takes longer to cool down. Thus, it’s better to start with white and move to darker colors like red or black if you want to increase the heat.
Candle Wax Play
Before you start, always remember that holding the candle approximately 18 inches away from your partner’s skin is the safest. Also, you will need to discuss this kink with your partner first. You need to get their consent and establish some safe words before you light the candle.
Then, remove any flammable materials from your bedroom or sex dungeon. Also, to save your furniture and avoid stains, put a plastic sheet or towel under your sub. The next step is to give your partner a massage with essential oils. This will warm up the skin, and it will also facilitate wax removal later on. After that, it’s time to test the wax by dripping only a small amount of it on your sub’s arm or thigh. Observe their reaction and check for any allergies. If there’s no harmful reaction within a few minutes, the playtime can start!
So what can you do during wax play? Well, you could drip the wax onto your partner’s back or shoulders. Then, you can move on to their thighs and butt. The stomach is also a great spot. You can experiment with different drips, for example, those that roll down the skin. When the wax reaches the sub’s skin, they’ll feel a burst of light pain followed by a subside as the wax gets colder. You can also experiment with patterns, shapes, layers, etc.
Typically, the trick is to explore your sub’s senses and get a kick out of being dominant. Ultimately, the wax should cause an unusual high and a rush of pleasurable endorphins. You can also incorporate the other side of temperature play and use ice cubes to cool down the wax and create more unusual sensations.
Also, if you want to kick it up a notch, you can experiment with floggers, paddles, canes, spanking, dirty talk, latex, and oral sex. In the end, you can remove the wax with a plastic card, scraper, or your nails.
Aside from the warnings we’ve mentioned, there are a few other precautions for playing with warm wax. Obviously, you should never drip the wax onto your partner’s face or into their eyes. Also, don’t use mouth gags and restraints unless you have previous experience with BDSM play. If you want to try penetration, it’s best to put the candle away. Furthermore, never pour the candle wax onto open wounds or your sub’s genitals. It’s also not advisable to try temperature play on your own. As mentioned, candle play can get quite messy, so don’t forget to apply oil on the skin first.
And above all, you should always communicate with the receiving partner and be aware of their pain tolerance. Do not push them to take more than they can handle. Finally, don’t neglect some quality aftercare time and spend a few moments to bond with your partner after your kinky experience.
So does wax play sound hot enough for you? Now that you know the ins and outs, stock up on some candles and have fun with your kinky experiments!