Being a submissive isn’t for just anyone. Many people struggle with grasping the concept of it alone.
However, we have some simple ways and tips on how you can become a submissive yourself. If you think this lifestyle is the one you want, then keep on reading.
Is This What You Really Want?
Many people find themselves confused when they face terms like kink, power play, BDSM, dominance, and submission.
Before deciding whether or not these things are for you, it’s vital to do some research first. Learn the basics and the whats of it all. And after you learn the “what”, you can move onto the “how.” So how can you implement your newly acquired knowledge to your bedroom? It can be tricky at first.
Power play can be emotionally draining. It requires a high level of trust with your partner, and that takes a long time to build. That’s why this process is a slow and steady one and can’t be rushed.
Roleplay is a fantastic way to display and practice your submission. It’s a lot of fun too!
So roleplay is perfect for beginners. You can practice all kinds of roles and scenarios. Talk to your partner and find something you’re both into. Some of the examples of imaginative roles to try are king/servant, student/teacher, boss/secretary, etc. Basically, any combination of a role of power and subordinate works.
Roleplaying can also ease you into what being a submissive is really like. You can learn words you can say and things to do as a good sub. Also, it will help you discover what kind of submissive you are. Not everyone’s tastes are identical or they enjoy the same things.
You can play out any sexual fantasies you’ve ever had too! That’s why roleplaying is particularly useful for new dom/sub relationships. It’s a learning experience whether you’re playing a student or not.
Here comes another excellent way to practice being submissive — bondage sex.
This kink the one in which you literally play with control. Your partner has a lot of power over you, with you usually being tied up or restrained. That’s why trust is imperative. You don’t want to do this with someone you don’t know well and have full faith in.
There’s no need to get tied up in any fancy ways. Start slow and work your way up if you find this kink to be something you enjoy. But make sure you talk everything through if it’s your first time being tied up, just in case.
Words Are Powerful
You need to learn the sub lingo to be an excellent submissive partner. Addressing your dom appropriately will make a world of difference in the entire experience.
Using language is the best way to amp up the power dynamics. Yes, that goes even if you’re not playing out scenarios or engaging in roleplaying. When you learn how to speak like a sub, you will learn how to act like one too.
Just by using simple words or phrases, you put a lot of accent on the fact that your significant other is the dominant partner. Terms such as “sir,” “master,” and “please,” or phrases like, “I live to serve you,” and “I’m here to obey you” will make any dominant lose their mind over you.
You’ll immediately notice how it will make all the difference. So practice that while playing a role to avoid any initial awkwardness or embarrassment. You can also ask your partner what they would like to hear. Both parties should enjoy playing, right?
Ask for Permission
This point is exactly what it sounds like, except that it’s a little different than asking your mom for candy. In this case, you’re asking your dom for… a different type of satisfaction.
Asking for permission in the bedroom cements your role as a submissive. It’s as simple as that. There’s nothing like pleading and begging to spice up your BDSM sex scenes.
And it’s not only the mundane things you can ask permission for. You can also agree on not allowing specific things beforehand. That way, you can ask for permission to do/have them. We’re talking about actions like touching yourself or reaching orgasm. Another fantastic choice would be your partner kissing you.
Anything can be prohibited until it is allowed. It can also be a game of push and pull. Your partner can decide to allow something but revoke the permission at any time; you can only get what you deserve.
Ask Your Partner to Punish You
Once you agree on some rules, they’re set in stone, right? Wrong!
Before you get into all the punishing, make sure you communicate first. Of course, there are safewords put in place should anything go wrong. But it’s wise to determine things before any BDSM activities take place.
Talk about what punishments are going to be. Don’t immediately go to extremes, especially if you’re new to all of this. That will surely create the power dynamic you’re aiming for.
We already spoke about permission, so let’s say you do something without said permission. Your partner has to punish you and teach you a lesson. So how can they do that? Spanking or withholding affections could be excellent choices.
And if you decide that is something you enjoy, you can move on to more “extreme” punishments. You should talk about it all, though. After all, you must ensure the safety of both parties involved.
Some BDSM plays involve receiving or inflicting pain. However, being part of the community doesn’t automatically mean you’ll find this kink enjoyable.
But if you do, there’s a lot for you to explore and experiment with. Pain play isn’t for the faint of heart, though. It requires prior education too. Again, being a sub doesn’t mean you necessarily enjoy pain.
Overall, if you do decide to try this kink, starting slow and steady is crucial. You can experiment with spanking, slapping, hair-pulling, or choking. But approach choking with extreme care to avoid any possible injuries. This type of play can have fatal consequences if not careful, so please exercise caution.
There are many different sex toys and BDSM accessories that can help get you into the right mindset.
Not only that, but you can invest in costumes too! No roleplay is complete without a costume to accentuate your respective roles. You don’t have to go to a store to buy your outfits, though. Take whatever you have in your closet and use that instead.
Some of the helpful toys you can utilize are handcuffs, blindfolds, whips, and such. It all depends on what you and your partner prefer. As always, both parties will have to agree upon all the terms before anything happens.
BDSM lifestyle isn’t that difficult to lead or maintain. The only question is — is it really the life you want? If so, we’re sure you’ll have buckets of fun!