Whether you are a BDSM novice or an expert, you have likely heard of BDSM aftercare. Unfortunately, many people often overlook it. A lot of sex educators believe that doing so can make or break a BDSM relationship.
However, it is relatively easy to establish proper BDSM aftercare for the slave and master. This article will discuss some ways in which you can practice this recuperating habit. So check out this BDSM aftercare guide to learn more!
What Is BDSM Aftercare?
It’s no secret that BDSM sex is intense. It requires a lot of prep time and clear communication. But many things can go wrong even if you establish definite boundaries and experience unforgettable orgasms.
Overall, BDSM is much more complicated than dressing your partner up in latex and dominating them with wax and floggers. Moreover, using chains, ball gags, animal tail butt plugs, or shiny anal hooks may seem like the right thing to do in the heat of passion.
However, many people neglect to consider the aftermath of a truly intense session. In reality, it can cause physical and psychological damage if you are not careful. Fortunately, BDSM aftercare can help you avoid that in submissive and dominant relationships. It can also boost your sexual experience.
Essentially, BDSM aftercare is a term for the time you devote to your partner after any kind of sex. It is indispensable because it will allow both partners to nurture their emotional and physical needs. Aftercare can provide some well-needed downtime during which both partners can recover. Even if you are into BDSM activities that aren’t extreme, aftercare is simply a necessity.
Why Is It Needed?
Firstly, BDSM exists in the realms of fantasy. It rarely reflects our day-to-day lives. Even if your partner can’t wait to put on their dominatrix suit and whip you into submission, they may not want to continue with that role in real life. And that’s why you need some form of aftercare.
Overall, it offers both partners an opportunity to recalibrate. Both roles should practice it to reset their bodies and minds. It also allows a relationship to return to its normal state and avoid any harm.
An extreme yet typical example of BDSM-related damage is the so-called sub drop. It can also occur in doms, but subs are more susceptible to it. In a nutshell, the sub drop is caused by the sudden endorphin rush. Intense scenes and physical exertion can cause it, as well as a depletion in blood sugar. It’s similar to a post-orgasm high. The rush is so high that it can cause the sub to feel fatigued. What’s more, they could be fully incapacitated after a session.
The drop can also result in dehydration and fatigue, as well as depression. That’s why aftercare is equally as crucial as prepping before a session or using safewords.
Physical and Emotional Aftercare
Ultimately, aftercare depends on how you communicate. It will be your responsibility to find the methods that work best for both roles. If your partner isn’t willing to put in some post-sex effort, it may be time to rethink your relationship.
So what does it mean to reset after an intense BDSM sexual encounter? It requires several post-sex activities that allow the mind and body to cool down.
Commonly, aftercare can consist of anything from cleaning up equipment, offering food and refreshments, to cuddling or kissing. It should involve examining the sub’s body for any damage or wounds, depending on the activity you engaged in. Sometimes, formal contracts could pinpoint and define various methods. It may be wise to use a contract if you are planning a long-term relationship, especially if severely intense fetishes such as painplay are involved.
Furthermore, sex aftercare ensures that nobody feels abused, used, and degraded (except if that is the goal). Both partners should feel safe and cared for, especially after a highly intense BDSM scene. Other forms of aftercare could involve emotional comfort, a deep massage, a romantic bath, and active conversation.
When it comes to conversation, it is crucial to discuss the various kinks you have attempted during the session. Both partners could talk about their fetishes and remind each other that their BDSM kinks were an entirely normal part of sex. If something was off about the session, you should always discuss it with your partner. That way, you will not build up any negative emotions.
Aftercare could also be a way to enhance your next session and make it even more pleasurable. As mentioned, there’s a chance that doms could also experience a drop, so it’s vital to pay attention to both sides.
BDSM in Relationships
While it’s intensely hot, BDSM can reveal many things about a relationship. It can facilitate communication and allow both partners to explore dominant and submissive roles. It can also allow them to learn each others’ desires. Additionally, both roles will get familiar with how they wish to be treated.
All of the above traits are essential in any relationship. However, BDSM creates a one-of-a-kind bond between a submissive partner and a dom.
One of the critical aspects of aftercare is that it ensures the needs of both parties are met. It encourages communication and allows the formation of a genuine emotional connection (if desired). Moreover, it makes sure that both partners are attentive and physically unharmed.
Finally, aftercare isn’t only practiced right after a BDSM session. It can last for a day, week, or more.
BDSM is an intricate art that takes a long time to master. You will need to establish specific relationship dynamics and consider the effects on both parties to reap the benefits fully.
You should think about prep time, equipment safety, roles, fetishes, and so much more in advance to avoid psychological damage. BDSM aftercare is an essential part of it all, and it will allow you to practice your kinks safely and responsibly! And when you get the hang of it, it will be time to restrain your sub, whip them, dominate them with sex toys, and make them a cup of tea once it’s all over!