Author: Scot Stephens

Playing with fire can sometimes be insanely hot. If you like rough sex, BDSM, and various kinks and fetishes, you’ve definitely heard of temperature play before. But, if you haven’t, our beginner’s guide to wax play will show you what you’re missing! 

Temperature Play

For starters, temperature play is a popular BDSM kink involving the use of hot/cold substances and objects during sex. If you rub an ice cube on a person’s genitals or nipples, or if you drip some molten wax on their skin, it will fire up their neuroreceptors for a highly sensual effect. You can also take the kink to extremes. Some people use flames, torches, or fire cups on the skin directly for heat torture. Conversely, intense temperature play can also involve the insertion of ice cubes into a submissive’s vagina or anus. 

When it comes to wax play, it doesn’t necessarily need to be a part of hardcore BDSM scenes. Many people can use hot wax lightly during foreplay or penetrative sex as a way of adding some dominance/submission into their bedroom activities. Still, it can be a bit painful and that’s why it’s not for everyone. Playing with candle wax requires consent and great patience or attention because it can cause discomfort and skin irritations. However, if you’re into it and learn how to do it correctly, you’ll definitely get to experience some unique sensations and squirming orgasms. 

The Best Candle 

So how should you start, and what’s the best candle you could use? Well, the safest candles are those specifically made for wax play since they are manufactured by sex toy makers. One of the best types is made of soy. They do not burn at high temperatures, and they also cool quickly. Moreover, soy is an organic material, which lowers the risk of irritations. However, some people don’t like their softness/stickiness. 

If you’re tempted to buy standard candles from a retail store, it’s best to choose some that burn at low temperatures. That includes 100% paraffin or massage candles. Paraffin candles are super easy to clean and remove. Yet, they can cause temporary redness on the skin, but most BDSM fans will not mind this. What’s more, you should avoid gel, taper, scented, metallic, or beeswax candles since they have a high melting point. They can cause serious burns and scars while making wax removal incredibly difficult.

Another thing to note is that candle colors will also have an effect on the temperature of the wax. For example, white will drip much cooler compared to black. Yet, white also takes longer to cool down. Thus, it’s better to start with white and move to darker colors like red or black if you want to increase the heat. 

Candle Wax Play 

Before you start, always remember that holding the candle approximately 18 inches away from your partner’s skin is the safest. Also, you will need to discuss this kink with your partner first. You need to get their consent and establish some safe words before you light the candle.

Then, remove any flammable materials from your bedroom or sex dungeon. Also, to save your furniture and avoid stains, put a plastic sheet or towel under your sub. The next step is to give your partner a massage with essential oils. This will warm up the skin, and it will also facilitate wax removal later on. After that, it’s time to test the wax by dripping only a small amount of it on your sub’s arm or thigh. Observe their reaction and check for any allergies. If there’s no harmful reaction within a few minutes, the playtime can start! 

What’s Next?

So what can you do during wax play? Well, you could drip the wax onto your partner’s back or shoulders. Then, you can move on to their thighs and butt. The stomach is also a great spot. You can experiment with different drips, for example, those that roll down the skin. When the wax reaches the sub’s skin, they’ll feel a burst of light pain followed by a subside as the wax gets colder. You can also experiment with patterns, shapes, layers, etc. 

Typically, the trick is to explore your sub’s senses and get a kick out of being dominant. Ultimately, the wax should cause an unusual high and a rush of pleasurable endorphins. You can also incorporate the other side of temperature play and use ice cubes to cool down the wax and create more unusual sensations. 

Also, if you want to kick it up a notch, you can experiment with floggers, paddles, canes, spanking, dirty talk, latex, and oral sex. In the end, you can remove the wax with a plastic card, scraper, or your nails. 

Safety Precautions 

Aside from the warnings we’ve mentioned, there are a few other precautions for playing with warm wax. Obviously, you should never drip the wax onto your partner’s face or into their eyes. Also, don’t use mouth gags and restraints unless you have previous experience with BDSM play. If you want to try penetration, it’s best to put the candle away. Furthermore, never pour the candle wax onto open wounds or your sub’s genitals. It’s also not advisable to try temperature play on your own. As mentioned, candle play can get quite messy, so don’t forget to apply oil on the skin first. 

And above all, you should always communicate with the receiving partner and be aware of their pain tolerance. Do not push them to take more than they can handle. Finally, don’t neglect some quality aftercare time and spend a few moments to bond with your partner after your kinky experience. 

Flame On! 

So does wax play sound hot enough for you? Now that you know the ins and outs, stock up on some candles and have fun with your kinky experiments!

While daddy/girl play is common in hardcore porn or during rough sex, DDLG is a completely unique roleplay fetish. It goes beyond conventional daddy talk (e.g., “Fuck me, daddy!”), and it can actually be a bit unusual to grasp at first. Today, we’ll explore the roles of Daddy and his naughty little girl and get you started with DDLG!

What Is DDLG?

First of all, DDLG (Daddy Dom/little girl) is a type of consensual fetish with two adult participants.

This ageplay fetish is related to BDSM. It requires a male Daddy Dom and a little girl. The interplay between a submissive female and a dominant man is not linked to incest or pedophilia by any means. Generally, it’s a misunderstood fetish. Some may feel that this practice is wrong or inappropriate. Still, it’s a form of roleplay that occurs with consent from both partners. The Daddy and his girl will arrange an agreement to discuss their rules, roles, and boundaries before the roleplay. Hence, it’s a completely normal fetish in which two partners enact their fantasies.

What’s more, many DDLG players have turned this kink into a lifestyle choice. Others, however, practice it only in the bedroom. Some can only roleplay with outfits and costumes in child-like activities. They can play with stuffed animals, read bedtime stories, and even use spanking when discipline is required. Those who prefer to make the roleplay sexual can try all sorts of activities that focus on power exchange.

When it comes to sex, the little girl will typically perform various acts to satisfy her Daddy. BDSM accessories can also allow the Daddy to discipline his girl and make her obey his commands. But, the little girl can also ask her Dom Daddy to fulfill her sexual needs. He knows the best ways of pleasuring her and can use sex as a form of reward.

Also, what sets DDLG apart from BDSM is the fact that the relationships are much more caring and sensual. Still, some can try DDLG with even the most hardcore sex practices. They can incorporate the roleplay into various BDSM kinks and other fetishes.

The Roles in DDLG

Ageplay and especially DDLG sets out to satisfy both partners on multiple levels. The Daddy Dom role is appealing to dominant men who are attracted to innocence and youth. They could also love this roleplay because of their natural instinct to provide. Conversely, the little girl role may suit submissive women who want a strong, dominant partner. Also, it appeals to those who constantly seek attention, praise, security, and discipline.

Daddies are usually the caregivers and also the punishers. They can be controlling and strict. However, they can also be gentle, kind, and supportive. The Dom Daddy has to know when to exert control and dominate/discipline his girl to make her obey him.

On the other hand, the little girl sub has a wider choice of roles. She can be of any age or even go through the whole process of growing up during the roleplay. That means she could be a baby who wears pacifiers and diapers. During the roleplay, she may grow into a teenage girl. Quite often, women in this role will act like silly brats. They could insist on a lot of cuddling and playing. The little girl will give consent to her partner, and she will also trust him regarding his decisions.

Moreover, we’ve said that some can make this roleplay into a lifestyle choice. They may practice it constantly during their day-to-day lives. Others, however, prefer to arrange set times for their DDLG sessions. DDLG players call this their “Little Space.” In it, both partners can unwind and participate in their DDLG roleplay. In a way, they can use it to escape from daily life, stress, and adult responsibilities.

From DDLG to BDSM Real Quick

For DDLG play, both roles will determine the specific scenes, activities, and outfits. The little girl generally gets all of the accessories and costumes. The Dom doesn’t require any special outfits except for some daddy-like clothes and even a leather belt for punishment. Some of the outfits and accessories for the sub include pajamas, adult diapers, onesies, sippy cups, teddy bears, pacifiers, etc.

One example of a session in Little Space is when the Daddy bathes and dresses his baby girl. Other activities could include playing with coloring books, games, and reading fairy tales. This can progress to disciplining, especially if the girl starts acting moody or bratty.

The most typical punishment would include spanking, although there are other forms of discipline. The Daddy could put his girl in detention by making her stand in a corner. He could make her write out some lines on a piece of paper or even wash her mouth with soap for swearing. What’s more, the punishments and the rewards can be sexual.

DDLG can progress to BDSM quickly if the partners agree on it. Some activities could include master/slave play, bondage, chastity play, consensual non-consent, paddling/flogging, anal training, tickling, playing with sex toys, etc.

Other Types of Littles In DDLG

There are a few variants of this roleplay. For instance, there’s ABDL, that is, adult baby and diaper lover play. It requires the Little to remain in diapers and act like a helpless newborn baby.

Additionally, CGL or Caregiver/Little is identical to DDLG. However, you can use it for a Mommy Domme (dominatrix) and her Little boy or girl. This kind of roleplay also goes by other terms: MDLB (Mommy Dom and Little Boy) and MDLG (Mommy Dom and Little Girl). Moreover, DDLB is the roleplay between a Daddy Dom and his little boy.  Usually, the age of the Little is between 2 and 8 years old. It’s also common for partners to switch roles.

Summary

DDLG and other forms of ageplay can suit nearly any couple who wants to experiment with dominance and submission. As you’ve seen, it’s easy to transition from naughty DDLG play to BDSM kinks, and it may be worth it to try a session or two just to see if you are into it. So try some DDLG play today and have fun!

Did you know that you can improve your kinky BDSM session with a handful of yoga practices? Both of those practices culminate in swear, exhaustion, and soreness. However, they share other similarities that make them a perfect match. Check out our article to learn how to enjoy BDSM more by practicing yoga!

BDSM and Yoga

While the link between yoga and BDSM may seem unclear at first, these two practices actually have much more in common than you think. In fact, BDSM and yoga share similar goals. Primarily, they both enable you to let go. They allow someone else to guide or control your body. In both practices, the aim is to also reach altered states of consciousness.

Also, through yoga, one takes part in a solitary practice. They transition between postures (asanas) while pushing their body. Sounds familiar? Well, to many, BDSM play could seem brutal and violent compared to yoga. However, all kinds of kinky sex and BDSM fetishes also provide tops and bottoms with a way to escape the outside world. They can calm the mind and body. Also, BDSM scenes enable you to enter a state of serenity.

Of course, you won’t be able to use bondage disciplines as a replacement for your yoga routine. The two practices aren’t completely identical. One of them will allow you to show off your toned muscles while the other can end in bruises.

Why They’re Related

Interestingly, a study by Northern Illinois University has shown that both slaves and their masters experience a release of several mind-altering chemicals during a session. Tops can enter topspace or flow. That refers to an endorphin rush that makes them feel aware and in control of the moment. Conversely, bottoms enter transient hypofrontality or subspace. This stage has been compared to a runner’s high. It is similar to meditation, hypnosis, and dreaming. Also, it’s linked to feelings of peacefulness and relaxation.

When it comes to yoga, this practice can calm the body. All the while, it can give you the chance to turn off your mind. Muscle movement, breathing techniques, poses, and focus are all things that yogis work on during a class. And indeed, using some of those techniques in yoga could allow you to boost your focus and stamina during your time in the dungeon.

How Yoga and Meditation Improve Performance of Subs and Doms

Many positions in yoga are actually quite similar to postures for subs/slaves. For one, the downward dog is practically made for spanking and punishment. Moreover, the happy/angry cat pose perfectly symbolizes a slave who is waiting for their master’s cock. During bondage, similar positions and activities enable participants to surrender control. That’s why kinks like impact play with bondage ropes are incredibly similar to mediation.

To some, BDSM can lead to an “in-between” feeling. This sensation blurs the lines between the body and mind. Because of that, subs and doms have to reach inwards while experiencing the sensations that surround them. Afterward, it’s necessary to enter a healing state. That’s why tops and bottoms could improve BDSM with yoga.

Moreover, yoga can improve focus and physical fitness. Like we’ve said, there are some similarities between yoga and BDSM poses, so practicing some asanas on a yoga mat could help subs to improve their experience. Also, meditation can allow doms to reach higher levels of focus and mindfulness during a scene. This will ultimately result in improved trust for both partners. It’s also possible to use ayurvedic practices to improve your overall sex life.

For example, Ayurveda can allow you to monitor and manage sexual energy. Both yoga and Ayurveda teachings can improve mental health and personal wellness. You can use them to gain a higher awareness of yourself and your partner during your BDSM sessions.

Relieves Anxiety

Studies show that a daily ten-minute meditation session can greatly reduce anxiety and stress. Simultaneously, it can improve self-compassion and inner-tranquility. In fact, meditation and yoga are so helpful for BDSM fans, and that’s evident through many new-age practices that combine them. That includes meditative bondage, kink yoga, and orgasmic yoga. How to meditate? Find out here

What’s more, submissives are greatly encouraged to practice mindfulness meditation. It will help them through their healing states. To masters/mistresses and slaves, meditation and yoga provide a bridge back to reality. They can also allow you to clear your thoughts. With a few minutes of meditation, subs and doms can reach their respective mindsets much quicker. Plus, meditation is an effective way to build character. Tops and bottoms could use it to focus on their roles in more detail.

Other Benefits of Yoga on Sex

Multiple studies have found that yoga leads to better sex. Mainly, it can improve your libido and sexual functions. That includes desire and performance. It also encompasses physical stamina and body awareness. Primarily, yoga can remove toxins while improving fitness. This ultimately brings more blood to your sexual organs. Through yoga, men can experience stronger erections and better orgasm control. For women, yoga can increase flexibility. It can boost sexual focus, making it easier to reach stronger orgasms. And it’s worth noting that yoga simply makes you more agile. You’ll be less likely to experience injury or pain during regular sex or dirty BDSM fun. It’s also a challenging activity that can allow you to reach new physical and psychological goals, thereby improving your self-confidence. More on BDSM dirty fun here

Most importantly, yoga and meditation allow you to look inwards. This can deepen your connection to yourself and your partner, regardless of your preferred kink or fetish.

Key Takeaways on Yoga and BDSM

In conclusion, tops and bottoms can use yoga to improve focus during kinky BDSM sex and achieve a higher state of mind. So definitely try a couple of meditation and yoga sessions before your next visit to your dungeon. Have fun!

In BDSM, a dominatrix is the ultimate symbol of female empowerment and male obedience. She can instantly make you fantasize about high heels, latex catsuits, riding crops, bizarre sex toys, and kinky dungeon activities. Still, not many people know about what a domme actually does and how the profession really works. This article will discuss the rise of the dominatrix. We’ll show you what happens when men need serious domination!

What is a Dominatrix?

Contrary to what you may believe, a lot of men who exhibit power and strong alpha energy are actually sissies in disguise. They are just waiting to get brutally dominated. Enter: the dominatrix! A domme is the ultimate queen of BDSM. She takes on a dominant role during various fetishes and kinks. Also, she can make men feel humiliated and powerless through verbal or physical abuse.

The dominatrix is a goddess in the flesh who can use various skills and techniques to humiliate men. That includes orgasm denial, cock and ball torture, body worship, anal pegging, and tons of other naughty kinks. But, it’s important to draw a clear line between a professional dominatrix and a non-profit mistress.

Typically, a dominatrix provides services to men for a price. This is actually one of the most lucrative types of sex work. In contrast, the term “mistress” is used for women who practice dominant BDSM activities without any financial compensation.

Most of the time, professional dommes do not offer penetrative sex. Their services may not even require them to be nude. For many obvious reasons, a dominatrix is actually a symbol of empowerment. What’s more, most women who become dominatrices enjoy their work. It offers a unique type of sexual expression and an arousing rush. Still, being a domme or a mistress could take years to perfect. Also, it requires stamina, focus, dedication, and plenty of experience.

The Dominatrix and BDSM

As mentioned, dommes can operate in various ways. When males visit a dominatrix, the chances are that the majority of the session will focus on femdom.

That can include the use of whips and ropes to restrain and punish a male slave. It can also involve consensual abuse, foot worship, role play, sissy play, male anal training, etc. A dominatrix can perform highly kinky acts along the lines of prostate milking, corporate punishment, etiquette training, chastity play, and orgasm control. Things can get even naughtier with cyber femdom, medical play, reverse rape, small penis humiliation, financial domination or findom, etc.

In truth, each male submissive has a specific fetish. A pro domme can usually fulfill most of them, no matter how bizarre or degrading. When it comes to the actual job, dommes can work in independent spaces. Alternatively, they can operate as dungeon mistresses in commercial establishments. Many men prefer to visit dominatrices because it’s easy to find those who can fulfill their fantasy without being weird about it. It’s difficult to meet a willing and experienced BDSM partner in real life. Plus, at the end of the session, both sides can go their separate ways.

How Women Benefit from Being a Dominatrix

Like we’ve said, being a domme is a highly lucrative business. While it requires experience, most of it can come naturally to women who have a strong dominant side.

This profession is different from other sex work. It doesn’t usually require any conventional sex services from females. That means women do not have to worry about emotional and physical consequences. Furthermore, most dommes do not offer vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. Thus, they can keep their distance and provide a quality service to multiple male servants.

Also, the job doesn’t take a major toll on the female body. That means dommes can schedule more sessions. That way, they can earn a lot more compared to other sex workers.

Another reason why the business is lucrative is confidentiality. Usually, male clients and dommes have a confidentiality agreement. That is due to the nature of the activities. Dommes are often hired by high-ranking clientele. And the price for anonymity is quite high.

Aside from the financial reasons, taking control of men can truly be empowering for women. It can allow them to bend gender roles. It can put a stop to male dominance, which is omnipresent in our society.

Finding Your Dominatrix

So how can one locate a dominatrix? Firstly, this is not a cheap activity. You’ll have to be prepared to spend a lot.

The chances of finding a good domme through standard social media are slim. Some can be found through their Twitter accounts. But, you can use portals like FetLife. That’s a great place to start. Additionally, you can use listing sites for full-time dominatrices. Some are Pandemos and dickievirgin. That way, you might be able to get in touch with a domme or BDSM dungeon to schedule an appointment. For dommes that work in independent spaces, you could reach out to them via their personal websites.

However, it’s crucial to watch out for a few red flags. Namely, you can tell if a domme is experienced and successful through pictures. So inspect equipment and furniture. Dominatrix gear, accessories, wardrobe, and sex toys are usually very pricey. They can reveal a lot about your goddess’s services. Also, you can look for her training credentials. Still, it’s quite uncommon to find a domme that was trained by a legendary mentor nowadays.

Another tip is to avoid inexpensive options. Specifically, watch out for “too good to be true” dommes who try hard to conceal their identity. That can indicate a scam of some sort.

Time to Play!

As you’ve seen, being a dominatrix is a highly demanding profession. But, it’s possibly the only solution for men who need serious domination! Most importantly, it can truly make women feel empowered, and most will genuinely love their work.

So what do you think? Do you want to learn some dominatrix techniques and punish your male servant? Or are you a submissive guy who wants to get disciplined by the big D? Either way, it’s never too late for playtime! Have fun!

The BDSM scene is full of different people with unique kinks. But having fun with someone is just one step of the way. You also need to worry about what happens after the session is over. Here, we will take a look at one of the most important parts of BDSM relationships — aftercare.

Solo Kinkster Lifestyle

One of the first things we need to understand is that you can enjoy BDSM even if you are single. There is no reason why you shouldn’t have fun on your own. Now that we understand that let’s see what some of your options are. 

Firstly, you can go out and meet other kinksters interested in BDSM play. But, you can enjoy every single aspect of BDSM alone if that’s what you want. People often believe that spanking or bondage is pointless if there is no one to see it. That’s just plain wrong. Even if you don’t have a play partner, you can still enjoy intense sessions by yourself. 

There are numerous people out there who enjoy self-bondage or self-spanking, and the effect is the same. BDSM is what you make it to be, and if you don’t feel like having an audience, that’s perfectly fine. Of course, you can always find like-minded people to share a scene with you, but aftercare is important regardless if you are going solo or playing with someone else. 

The Importance of Aftercare

BDSM aftercare is everything that comes after the session, and it is crucial. It doesn’t matter if you are alone or with a partner. You still need to take care of yourself. Naturally, it mostly depends on the type of play you enjoy. Some people might require less coddling than others. 

It is possible that you will encounter people who aren’t really into aftercare, and they won’t stick around to share this part of the journey with you. But that doesn’t mean that you should skip it if they aren’t into it. Aftercare is important, and if they don’t assist you, you need to do it alone. 

Once you’ve had enough pleasure, there is a significant drop in energy in you and your partner. There are many things that can happen afterward, and you or your partner might need emotional and physical support. 

Here is a brief list of some of the things you can do as a part of the aftercare.

• Take off toys and gear.
• Clean everything.
• Take your partner somewhere warm or off the floor.
• Disinfecting and applying ointments.
• Taking painkillers (if needed), vitamins, supplements, and others.
• Offering water.
• Power drinks and chocolate.
• Hugging and cuddling.
• Reassurance
• Spending time together, maybe watching a movie.
• Others. 

The aftercare is not rocket science. It is about caring and showing appreciation. Furthermore, if there are any wounds, bruises, or pain, it needs to be addressed as soon as possible. Aftercare is about ensuring everything is ok and spending time together. Of course, some people are not into aftercare at all (if you are going solo), and that’s fine. You can’t force anyone to do something they don’t want. But it is important to take these steps alone.

You might also want to know these BDSM Aftercare techniques.

Get Your Own Aftercare Kit

One of the smartest things you could do is to create your own aftercare kit. Its contents should depend on the type of play you enjoy and what you might need after the scene is over. Create a list of items that will help you recover and put them all in a box. 

Some of the items you might want to consider are first aid kits, painkillers, disinfectants, and anything that can help you tend the wound. But medications aren’t the only thing you might need post-scene. Be creative. Add some sweets, your favorite movie, energy drinks, items for a bubble bath, and anything else. 

Get to Know Your Needs

One of the tricks you can do is to get to know your needs. That includes your needs both during and after the scene. Ask yourself what the things you enjoy are and figure out what it is that doesn’t seem too exciting. Get to know your limits. Create a list if you have to. You need to understand what is pleasurable for you and what some of the things you don’t plan on doing are. 

When it comes to the post-scene treatment, think about everything that makes you feel great. What are your cravings after adrenaline drops? As we mentioned, an aftercare kit can contain anything you want, so be sure to keep things you might need within your reach. 

Respect Your Limits

When you understand your limits, stick to them. There is no shame in backing out, and no one should make you feel like you are worthless because you are unwilling to do something. The very idea of BDSM is to feel good. Don’t mind what movies like “50 Shades of Grey” have to say. They aren’t an accurate representation of the BDSM subculture. No one should force you to do something you are not comfortable doing. Safewords exist for a reason.

And the worst-case scenario is someone not giving you the respect you deserve because you are unwilling to do something or you have reached your limits. So, what? If you are going solo, it doesn’t matter. You aren’t really involved with anyone, and only your opinion matters. It just shows you that you are better off without them. The only thing that matters is you. And if someone is unable to respect your boundaries? Well, fuck them (not literally)! 

You Don’t Have to Be Alone

If all of this seems frightening to you, you should know that there is a community full of people who would love to help you along the way. And that includes aftercare as well. You don’t have to be alone, and you don’t need to go through it by yourself if you don’t want to.

There is always a community you can run to for aftercare, and they will be more than happy to help you. Even if you are not a part of the huge BDSM group, you can still talk to your friends or anyone available to lend you their ear. 

What’s the difference between Shibari and Kinbaku? The Japanese art of bondage is incredibly unique, yet it is still relatively unknown to many BDSM enthusiasts. When did it originate, and how did it get so popular? Keep reading to learn more!

How Shibari and Kinbaku Started

Did you know that early Japanese bondage practices date back to the Edo period? That was nearly 300 to 400 years ago! Kinbaku was first introduced by a painting master called Seiu Ito, who used it in his works. They featured Kijo demons who used ropes to tie up beautiful young women. It took some time until Ito’s powerful paintings and Kinbaku became a modern phenomenon.

In the ’50s and ’60s, this unique art of bondage was first shown in magazines and even on live TV performances. The shows featured a Bakushi or the bondage master along with multiple Nawashi or the rope masters. A unique characteristic of Kinbaku is the use of thin rope made of linen or hemp.

Over the years, Kinbaku became a big influence on modern BDSM. Interestingly, the practice also became known as Shibari in the late ’90s. This term means “tying” or “binding.” It is accepted in Western circles and refers to the same style of decorative bondage. However, some modern Western scholars argue that there is a clear distinction between the two. In this case, Shibari only refers to the artistic rope. Conversely, Kinbaku refers to the erotic and artistic practice as a whole. Interestingly, Japanese rope bondage traditionalists do not employ that distinction.

Nowadays, Shibari is well-known in Western pop culture. You can even see it in music videos, movies, and TV shows. It is a popular BDSM practice today, and many bondage lovers practice it worldwide.

The Subtle Difference Between the Two

Even though evidence suggests that Japanese traditionalists do not make a distinction between these two practices, Western scholars insist on some subtle differences.

Usually, Shibari is defined as an ancient art of rope tying. It can also include weaving and binding. As a whole, it doesn’t aim to convey bondage as sexual. The end goal is the finished knot and tie. In a modern context, you could picture it as an art installation or an acrobatic act.

On the other hand, Kinbaku signifies “tight binding.” The end result is intentional and connective. The goal is to provoke a sensual or emotional reaction.

Also, Kinbaku focuses on the bondage process and the emotional reaction or connection. Still, the difference is subtle, and many use the two terms interchangeably.

Those who draw a clear line between the two often claim that Kinbaku is based on aesthetics from the latter half of the 20th century. Contemporary rope riggers like Kinoko-san often merge the two in their work. Ultimately, the differences are negligible.

Transitioning Into Art

Kinbaku rope was previously used on POWs through the traditional martial art of Hojojutsu. This martial art makes use of ropes as a weapon. Originally, the samurai practiced it, and they used the rope for restraining prisoners. Hojojutsu is visually pleasing because it uses sophisticated movements, rope patterns, and techniques. Moreover, the samurai sometimes used the rope to damage the nerves on the hands or limbs of disobedient prisoners. In the worst case, they strangled the prisoners with it.

In the 20th century, Kinbaku/Shibari transitioned into a renowned form of visual and performance art. Some scholars believe that the transition was made possible by Japan’s open attitudes towards sexuality and its connection to art.

Regardless of the context, Kinbaku and Shibari have strict rules regarding aesthetics. Artists have to follow several forms or Katas, along with many other rules. Many believe that the rope is simply a personification of the Nawashi. Still, newer artists have attempted to break those rules. One example is the use of fluorescent ropes.

Some of the most notable contemporary Shibari artists are Nobuyoshi Araki, Hikari Kesho, Hajime Kinoko, and Jim Duvall. The art was also featured in many European and American music videos, most notably in “Sucker” by the Jonas Brothers. Also, Kinbaku and Shibari are now a form of fetish art that is popular in BDSM circles.

Gaining Ground

As an art form, bondage rope tying can be highly interesting due to its unique aesthetics. Most works can feature photography, performance art, meditative/stress-relieving qualities, etc. They can also communicate values for relationship building, self-empowerment, sexuality, etc. Most importantly, they contain hints of BDSM and unconventional sex.

All of that can appeal to the spectator’s physical, mental, and emotional response. It’s also an exotic practice. That’s why it’s highly appreciated outside of Japan. Several years ago, in 2014, Lady Gaga was even bound and photographed in the same style, and her portrait was shown in the Louvre. On top of that, it seems that Kinbaku is also transitioning into the fashion world. Recently, Dior debuted a line of high heels inspired by rope binding. The practice is also very popular in London, where fans can even attend Shibari classes led by an experienced dominatrix.

Summary

Rope has always been a symbol of power and submission, and Shibari/Kinbaku can emphasize that in highly unique ways. Regardless of if you’re an art connoisseur or a horny BDSM enthusiast, Shibari/Kinbaku can certainly show you some profound truths on sexuality, relationships, and desire. So take a look at some examples of this art form today, and hopefully, it will inspire you! Have fun!

Many people are single for various reasons. Some don’t want to bother with relationships, others are tired of trying, and there are those who just want to have fun. However, did you know that you can kiss and cuddle without it leading to sex? If people can have sex without being in a relationship, why can’t they kiss and cuddle as well?

We offer you some non-traditional relationship advice.

Fuck Buddy Era

We live in a fuck buddy era. Many people are no longer looking for relationships, and instead, they just want someone to have sex with. This is also known as having friends with benefits. The type of people that are looking for fuck buddies is those who aren’t interested in anything else that is part of a traditional relationship. They don’t want the responsibility. They usually find it to be a burden, and they just want to enjoy themselves.

While this is not bad per se, there are many people who aren’t suitable for this lifestyle. This is especially true for those who can easily fall in love and get emotionally invested. One of the main downsides of friends-with-benefits relationships is that it’s not rare that one person falls in love. This can be a deal-breaker. In the end, they will probably get hurt since the other person clearly doesn’t want to get in a traditional relationship.

Learn how to initiate a friends with benefits situation.

Our Need for Cuddles and Kisses

When it comes to casual sex and non-traditional relationships, some of the most important things that are missing from that formula are cuddling and kisses. Of course, the couple will kiss during sex, but it’s not the same as sharing affection without an end-goal in mind, which is something that most people miss. Humans love cuddling. It feels nice, and it is a different way to explore closeness and relationships.

Unfortunately, a fuck buddy won’t stay long enough for you to cuddle, and they might not be interested in it at all. People fail to understand that closeness doesn’t always have to be about sex, and it isn’t the only way to feel good.

So the main problem is finding someone to share intimate moments with, but not just sex, i.e., to also share everything that comes with a real relationship. The main downside of this arrangement is probably the same as with having a friend with benefits — developing feelings.

The New Normal

Being single can be quite difficult. You miss affection, closeness, and having a companion in your life. Naturally, you will also miss having sex as well, but that’s not the most important part. It is not rare for single people to miss basic things like hugging, and it can be rather lonely to live in a world without hugs.

In the past couple of years (maybe even decades), people have become more open about their feelings, sexuality, and desires, which is a great thing. People no longer need to hide how they feel and what they desire, and it is a huge step for the entire humanity. With that in mind, you can always try and find a friend with benefits, but those benefits are actually hugging and kissing.

Since most single people will miss this part of the relationship the most, they would be more than willing to share emotions with you without all the downsides that come with sex. One of the main problems with friends having sex is that it will usually turn out bad. You might lose your friend in the end, and it will be pretty awkward to spend time together after you have seen them naked.

However, with cuddling, there are no downsides. You can enjoy closeness without bringing sex into it, which will eliminate the possibility of things becoming weird between you two. It is also a lot easier to find a cuddle buddy than it is to find a person for sex. There are different people out there, and for some, having sex will pose no problem for their friendship. However, the majority of people should leave sex out of it and enjoy simple cuddling instead.

RELATED: Why Sex And Love Don’t Belong In The Same Bed

It’s Not for Everyone

Finding a kissing buddy might not be a perfect choice for everyone. As we have already mentioned, each of us is different, and some people might not miss cuddling at all. Others might get too emotionally invested over time, and things can get complicated.

The reason why cuddling and kissing can be problematic is that they can get too hot for some people. It is not rare for cuddling to lead to sex, and if you are looking to avoid complicating your relationship with sex, it might get tricky.

If you are having a good time, you might think that it would get even better if you took it to the next level. Who knows — maybe it would. It is also possible to make the entire relationship with your friend uncomfortable.

The best thing about it is that it can stay just the way it is. You and your friend can be cuddling buddies and do your best for it to stay that way. You don’t need to add another element, and it can still be an incredible experience that both of you will enjoy.

Our times in quarantine have been incredibly hard, but today we’ll put a smile on your face and show you how to make your moments in isolation even harder or much, much wetter! So check out some of our wildest masturbation tips during quarantine! 

Life in Quarantine

By now, you’ve probably given up on life due to the seemingly endless Coronavirus pandemic. Most of us have been forced to stay at home and follow the suggested social distancing measures. However, that shouldn’t limit us or put a stop to our sex lives! 

If you are single, you could be feeling lonely and extremely horny while in quarantine. At the present moment, it’s impossible for us to connect and have sex with other people. Even dating apps are unsafe! However, many people have found the light at the end of the tunnel through masturbation! Since it’s likely that you have tons of time on your hands, you can definitely put those hands to good use and let your sex drive roam free! 

Increased Urge Is Normal 

Before we reveal our tips, it’s also worth mentioning that your increased urge to pleasure yourself or have sex is entirely natural. Quarantine is very stressful, and if you’re in lockdown alone, you can use masturbation or partnered sex as a way to destress. The pandemic has boosted our stress levels exponentially, so it’s only natural that we use sexual pleasure and a rush of endorphins to decrease it.

Additionally, quarantine can be mind-numbingly uneventful. Thus, saucing your pink taco or beating your bishop will definitely give you something interesting to do! Plus, we should mention that you shouldn’t be ashamed of masturbating too much these days. The “home alone and isolated” setting simply begs for it! If you’re single and haven’t had sex in a while, the only way to get your rocks off these days will be through masturbation. On the other hand, if you’re in a relationship, self-love is also a recommended sex method during COVID-19. It might help to prevent the spread as opposed to quarantine sex. 

Use Some Lube 

In this day and age, there’s no shame in ordering sex-related stuff online. Furthermore, spanking the plank or buffin’ the muffin is a bit boring if you don’t use any special sauce. You’ll want to switch things up a bit every once in a while and try lubricants! Plus, lube is definitely preferred if you’re planning to be adventurous and try all kinds of vaginal penetration or anal play.

So which lube should you choose? For masturbation, it’s best to pick certified sex lubricants that are either silicone or water-based. Don’t reach for that stale old jar of pre-pandemic coconut oil! The lubes we’ve mentioned last long, feel good, and go well with toys. 

Speaking of toys, also think about ordering a bunch since they will greatly improve your solo-sex escapades. Consider some bullet vibes, cock rings, butt plugs, g-spot massagers, or even bad dragon dildos if you’re brave enough! 

Studies have shown that using all sorts of adult toys will scare away the coronavirus! Of course, that’s not true, but in the end, if you’re a big fan of masturbation and you don’t know how to improve it, stocking up on lube and specific toys is definitely a fantastic idea. 

Invest in Subscriptions

Another practical (and economical) masturbation tip is to make use of all the free subscriptions online. Tons of porn sites like PornHub are offering free premium subscriptions during these tumultuous times, for example. By now, we probably don’t need to explain the wonders of PornHub to you, and you likely know that it’s full of just about any scene or fetish that you can imagine!

Other famous premium sites include Digital Playground, Evil Angel, Reality Kings, Brazzers, etc. You could definitely make use of some of the free offers on their pages before paying for a premium subscription. What’s more, consider investing in a real subscription because the content is marginally better.  

Also, if you prefer a slightly more personal experience that allows you to interact with hot models, take a look at OnlyFans. Hundreds of porn stars have shifted to this platform during COVID-19, and it’s a great way to support them financially while getting your rocks off. This site even allows you to chat with the performers or even upload your own clips. That is, if you’re adventurous, you could make some money on the side while having fun. 

Plan It!

Obviously, we’re not encouraging you to jerk off until your hand goes numb and you die from dehydration. The quarantine can get a bit overwhelming, and if you masturbate too much, it could get in the way of your regular life. If you work from home, you might be especially tempted to spend hours while watching porn as a way to relax. If you become addicted to porn, it can change your daily habits and seriously impact your sexuality. Additionally, masturbating excessively will make you lose self-control and will ultimately make you a lazier person. 

Typically, the best way to take it easy is to limit yourself and plan your adventures in some way. If you are in a relationship, you can monitor your mutual masturbation habits much easier. However, if you’re alone, it’s best to take regular breaks. While it’s perfectly safe to do it every day, it may not impact you positively if you watch obscene or extreme porn during each session. 

Look Forward to Going Back to Normal

Finally, just remember that things will get back to normal soon. Also, keep in mind that you’ll have to re-enter society in some way after the pandemic. So make sure that masturbation doesn’t become destructive and that it doesn’t impact your normal life outside quarantine in the future. There is definitely a danger to masturbating too much, and you should be wary of it because it can distort your view of reality. 

If you get used to constantly pleasuring yourself, you may forget how sex and intimate connections feel in real life. Thus, try not to replace your future partner with your palms. As said, be responsible and try to limit yourself a bit. Moreover, if you exercise self-control, you’ll be able to improve your masturbation habits, prolong your orgasms, and make them much more intense. 

Let the Fapping Begin!

Today is the perfect time to masturbate and explore your sexual behaviors! So get some lube or sex toys, invest in some porn subscriptions, and have fun!

What does it take to become the ultimate dominant? Are you looking for ways to improve your confidence in any type of BDSM relationship? Or does your partner just want to be roughed up during hardcore sex?

If you’re often thinking about those questions, you may not be familiar with all the traits of a true and confident Dom. Luckily, if you’re patient and take some time to investigate the core of dominant and submissive roles, you’ll realize that there’s much more to it than whips, chains, toys, and other kinky accessories. So take a look at this guide on building your confidence as a Dominant!

What Does It Mean to Be a Dominant?

Submission and dominance are notions that can be widely influenced by your perception. If you are a BDSM lover, you may prefer a clear distinction between the two. At times, it can be challenging to understand the true role of a Dom. Some say that brown-eyed and right-handed people are naturally wired to be in control. Others believe that dominance is about rope, pain, and extreme humiliation.

However, playing the dominant role is a much broader term. It can apply to all areas of life. Have you ever tried to take control of a situation and managed to make it work in your favor? If so, you were exercising your dominant traits.

Generally, dominant individuals are defined by their love of power in various situations. They simply like to be in charge. That doesn’t automatically imply sexual dominance. But when it comes to sex, the dominant role extends beyond its popular portrayal.

Sure, you can make your partner wear a pony mask and fuck them in the ass to turn their body into your submissive toy. However, to become a better dominant, you have to explore the notion of power play.

Submission and dominance is a mutually beneficial dynamic. Power exchange revolves around exercising safety in boundaries and knowing how to communicate. The key takeaway here is that being truly dominant is a skill you’ll need to master. It doesn’t automatically allow you to do whatever you please with your partner. It’s all about communication, caring for your partner, delivering and receiving stimulation, and knowing how to control a certain experience

Most Women Love Being Dominated

If you are struggling to build confidence, just remember that some people love to be dominated. Many partners, especially women, prefer to relinquish control in bed for various reasons.

For example, in daily life, work and social responsibilities can sometimes become overbearing. That’s why many women choose to be submissive in the bedroom. That can apply to sex in general and not just to BDSM play. Most sex acts usually feature a dominant and submissive partner in one way or another. If you wish to be more confident in bed and explore your dominant role further, pay attention to those dynamics.

Can You Do Whatever You Want to Your Sub?

As mentioned before, communication is crucial in BDSM sex. To become a better Dom, you have to know that, in most cases, you won’t be able to do whatever you want with your Sub. Approval will always be necessary. Moreover, consent should be your top priority. The same goes for safewords. That is especially true concerning acts like impact play, sensory deprivation, torture, etc.

If you or your partner fantasize about dominance and have never tried it, it’s essential to set your boundaries. That is, being dominant requires you to know what you want precisely. It also means that you’ll need to be open to communication. You’ll need to express your desires openly and with confidence.

But, you’ll also have to exercise respect even in the most brutal slave humiliation scenarios. Additionally, you’ll need to have self-control and know when to take responsibility. That is why some believe that the Sub is the one who is actually in charge. In many ways, dominance is mostly about perceived control.

Therefore, you should always make sure to discuss any sexual activity with your partner before trying it. Encourage your significant other and talk to them about their fantasies, desires, and fetishes. Be supportive and incentivize them to be open and experiment with what turns them on.

Pay Attention and Listen

A good Dom also knows how to observe their partner and analyze their reactions. That will be incredibly important if you are just beginning to experiment with BDSM. It’s crucial to pay attention to your partner’s bodily movements and responses.

Remember, you will be in charge and will be responsible for your Sub’s pleasure or pain. Listening to your partner will ensure that you will not harm their emotional, sexual, or physical health. This is incredibly important in new relationships. By paying attention, you’ll learn about your Sub’s limits. Thus, you should invest some time in learning how to observe your partner.

SEE: The Truth About BDSM Relationships

On top of that, it’s also important to, shall we say, learn the ropes. You should invest some time and learn about using sex toys safely. That also applies to bondage gear, whips, ropes, masks, etc. You need to investigate BDSM as much as possible and learn a lot.

What’s more, being observant could also benefit you. It could help you become a better Dom and build more confidence.

Lead Your Sub

If you truly want to train your Sub and make them your slave, you have to combine all of the tips we’ve mentioned so far. You should be aware that a good Dom knows all about timing, patience, listening, respect, and boundaries. In most cases, you won’t be able to cut corners.

However, if you take the time, consider what we’ve said, and hone your skills, you’ll be on the right path. With time, you will know how to take the reins and dominate your partner. You’ll be able to lead her/him on to explore what they want.

Bear in mind that, sometimes, your partner may know how to verbalize their desires. It’s possible that they don’t even know how much dominance they can take. They could only become aware of it when they push their limits and try something new. Knowing this is the secret to becoming a great Dom. So use your dominant traits to reveal her/his hidden desires based on the reactions you’ve observed.

Show Your Dominance in Public

As mentioned before, dominance is not only present in your bedroom or dungeon. It extends far beyond that to all fields of life. If you feel like you are simply too shy to be dominant in bed, you should try to take long term control in daily life.

To build more confidence, you should try to go after what you want. And when you extend your dominance in public, you won’t only improve your sex life and BDSM activities. In fact, you’ll get in touch with your natural self. It’s possible to practice this by taking charge of work-related situations and everyday activities.

Additionally, your dominant and submissive relationship or any type of role play shouldn’t stop when you exit the bedroom. You can exert dominance over your partner in public and take control during mutual activities. Like that, you’ll participate in a kinky game that will make BDSM even hotter. What’s more, you could participate in the BDSM community and join events where you’ll be able to show off your new skills.

Summary

Hopefully, this article has shown you the intricacies of being dominant and building self-confidence. So focus on the things we’ve discussed today, and your confidence will surely improve! All that’s left now is to go out there and take control of your slave!

Whether you are a BDSM novice or an expert, you have likely heard of BDSM aftercare. Unfortunately, many people often overlook it. A lot of sex educators believe that doing so can make or break a BDSM relationship.

However, it is relatively easy to establish proper BDSM aftercare for the slave and master. This article will discuss some ways in which you can practice this recuperating habit. So check out this BDSM aftercare guide to learn more!

What Is BDSM Aftercare?

It’s no secret that BDSM sex is intense. It requires a lot of prep time and clear communication. But many things can go wrong even if you establish definite boundaries and experience unforgettable orgasms.

Overall, BDSM is much more complicated than dressing your partner up in latex and dominating them with wax and floggers. Moreover, using chains, ball gags, animal tail butt plugs, or shiny anal hooks may seem like the right thing to do in the heat of passion.

However, many people neglect to consider the aftermath of a truly intense session. In reality, it can cause physical and psychological damage if you are not careful. Fortunately, BDSM aftercare can help you avoid that in submissive and dominant relationships. It can also boost your sexual experience.

Essentially, BDSM aftercare is a term for the time you devote to your partner after any kind of sex. It is indispensable because it will allow both partners to nurture their emotional and physical needs. Aftercare can provide some well-needed downtime during which both partners can recover. Even if you are into BDSM activities that aren’t extreme, aftercare is simply a necessity.

Why Is It Needed?

Firstly, BDSM exists in the realms of fantasy. It rarely reflects our day-to-day lives. Even if your partner can’t wait to put on their dominatrix suit and whip you into submission, they may not want to continue with that role in real life. And that’s why you need some form of aftercare.

Overall, it offers both partners an opportunity to recalibrate. Both roles should practice it to reset their bodies and minds. It also allows a relationship to return to its normal state and avoid any harm.

An extreme yet typical example of BDSM-related damage is the so-called sub drop. It can also occur in doms, but subs are more susceptible to it. In a nutshell, the sub drop is caused by the sudden endorphin rush. Intense scenes and physical exertion can cause it, as well as a depletion in blood sugar. It’s similar to a post-orgasm high. The rush is so high that it can cause the sub to feel fatigued. What’s more, they could be fully incapacitated after a session.

The drop can also result in dehydration and fatigue, as well as depression. That’s why aftercare is equally as crucial as prepping before a session or using safewords.

Physical and Emotional Aftercare

Ultimately, aftercare depends on how you communicate. It will be your responsibility to find the methods that work best for both roles. If your partner isn’t willing to put in some post-sex effort, it may be time to rethink your relationship.

So what does it mean to reset after an intense BDSM sexual encounter? It requires several post-sex activities that allow the mind and body to cool down.

Commonly, aftercare can consist of anything from cleaning up equipment, offering food and refreshments, to cuddling or kissing. It should involve examining the sub’s body for any damage or wounds, depending on the activity you engaged in. Sometimes, formal contracts could pinpoint and define various methods. It may be wise to use a contract if you are planning a long-term relationship, especially if severely intense fetishes such as painplay are involved.

Furthermore, sex aftercare ensures that nobody feels abused, used, and degraded (except if that is the goal). Both partners should feel safe and cared for, especially after a highly intense BDSM scene. Other forms of aftercare could involve emotional comfort, a deep massage, a romantic bath, and active conversation.

When it comes to conversation, it is crucial to discuss the various kinks you have attempted during the session. Both partners could talk about their fetishes and remind each other that their BDSM kinks were an entirely normal part of sex. If something was off about the session, you should always discuss it with your partner. That way, you will not build up any negative emotions.

Aftercare could also be a way to enhance your next session and make it even more pleasurable. As mentioned, there’s a chance that doms could also experience a drop, so it’s vital to pay attention to both sides.

BDSM in Relationships

While it’s intensely hot, BDSM can reveal many things about a relationship. It can facilitate communication and allow both partners to explore dominant and submissive roles. It can also allow them to learn each others’ desires. Additionally, both roles will get familiar with how they wish to be treated.

All of the above traits are essential in any relationship. However, BDSM creates a one-of-a-kind bond between a submissive partner and a dom.

One of the critical aspects of aftercare is that it ensures the needs of both parties are met. It encourages communication and allows the formation of a genuine emotional connection (if desired). Moreover, it makes sure that both partners are attentive and physically unharmed.

Finally, aftercare isn’t only practiced right after a BDSM session. It can last for a day, week, or more.

Final Thoughts

BDSM is an intricate art that takes a long time to master. You will need to establish specific relationship dynamics and consider the effects on both parties to reap the benefits fully.

You should think about prep time, equipment safety, roles, fetishes, and so much more in advance to avoid psychological damage. BDSM aftercare is an essential part of it all, and it will allow you to practice your kinks safely and responsibly! And when you get the hang of it, it will be time to restrain your sub, whip them, dominate them with sex toys, and make them a cup of tea once it’s all over!