Author: Scot Stephens

We all heard the term at BDSM events or in forums, but what it is all about? What does it mean to be primal? Is it a fetish, is a style? We will dig a little deeper and understand what it means. Release your inner animal, here is your crash course on Primal packs.

WHO IS A PRIMAL AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

First of all, it is more of a style than a fetish. Being primal is different to everyone and there is no set tone of rules of protocols to follow. To be sexually primal means that one allows their animalistic – Their primal – self out when sexually aroused or during intercourse. You enjoy those basic, raw feelings coming out – whatever they may be. The more nonhuman seeming, the better.

HOW DO PRIMALS PLAY?

Primal sex and play, at times, might resemble a wrestling match in which the stronger or more dominant subdues the weaker. Sometimes it will be more playful, more dirty, more painful. Both parties do what their instincts dictate. There may be pressure points involved and some bondage but what sets primal play apart is the open display of raw emotions, sexual feelings. We forget about labels, roles during a primal play and picture ourselves as animals.

In the BDSM scene, some refer themselves neither as submissive, nor dominant but as primal. Why? Usually, the “dominant” who prefers primal play wants to fight – the pure and abject submission of the “submissive” isn’t what’s come into play.

BEING PRIMAL IS NOT PLAY PET

Most primals identify as particular animals, the most popular being wolfs, cats or apes. The style can be monogamous, by packs or pride or swing. If you join a primal swing, you should be aware of the rituals they establish, know the alpha, etc. Even though primals may engage in pet play, two can be distinctly different. There is no leashes or collars to assert submission and two (or more) partners might fight for dominance with each other. This can be as painful or violent remaining with primals personal limits. Contrary to what we may think, there is safe words, signals or grunts.

WHERE DOES A PRIMAL PLAY TAKE PLACE?

Like any fetish, it can happen anywhere. However, the favored environment is doing it outside, in nature, Keep a blanket or a tent in your truck for sudden urges. f you’re going to do some of the more edgy types of primal play in a public play space, be sure to let the DM’s know what it is you are doing. A primal play is just that…primal, and it can be disturbing to observers who may not be familiar with the concept of an s-type actually fighting back in earnest.

DOES IT INVOLVE TOYS?

Most of the primals enjoy a more hands-on approach to play, and no expensive tools or toys are required. You were born with all the kink toys you need for playing primal: teeth, nails, hair, and skin.

Primal play can involve biting, scratching, growling, grunting, roaring, screaming – animal like sound, hair grabbing and hair pulling. Because of the roughness, stuff can also happen like accidental elimination. Keep a towel and baby wipes as well as alcohol handy. Primal play involves amounts of fear play and rough body contact play – some associate primal play with edge play.

PRIMAL PACKS

Like any group of kinksters, primals sometimes gather in groups called packs. This small community may have a strict hierarchy with each individual understanding their place in the pack. Most of the time, the group will consist of one Alpha. Fight for dominance might happen to naturally elect a new Alpha – much like a wolf pack of a lion pride. It is not about physical strength; the best leader is the most competent person taking care of all the group.

NOT ALL ABOUT SEX

Not all primals are constant fuck fest – the pack can be a safe place when life gets rough. It is a group allowing to fuck, fight or cuddle depending on specific needs. For many packs, the purpose is to build trust among members and create their own family. It is to join a group that embraces your self-expression and who you are as a person, regardless of your kinks.

SOME VOCABULARY

Alpha ― The leader of a primal pack or pairing, the most dominant. (Sometimes, in a pack, there will be an alpha pairPredator ― A primal who takes on the role of the animal hunter who desires to capture prey

Prey ― A primal who takes on the role of the animal hunted who desires being captured by the predator hunter ― Someone who takes the role of the human hunter to catch and subdue the animal

Mate ― One you form a bond with through sex and other play

Pet ― (not exclusively primal), someone you might have sex with, but who are not accorded the rank of mate

Furry ― (Not exclusively primal or BDSM), one who enjoys giving emotions and feelings to animals with human-like tendencies and features

Sex swings or slings are an amazing way to breathe new thrill to sex life. Moreover, they allow you to try some rocking new positions that are not possible elsewhere. And yes, sex or any stimulating activity on swing or sling is much more comfortable and thrilling than on the bed or couch. But, what about the safety part? You certainly don’t want to crash down on the floor right in the middle of a euphoric stimulation. Thus, it’s extremely important to take care of the safety tips while using a sex swing or sling.

The post below offers some expert tips to keep in mind to ensure a safe swing/sling experience with your partner.

Check the weight

The safety precautions start before you buy your sex swing or sling. Check beforehand how much weight your chosen sex swing or sling can support. It’s to note here, slings cannot offer full body support. Thus, if you are a full-bodied person, it’s better to avoid sling. If regular swings do not show compatibility with your body weight, try out the plus size options.

Go for dual hook swings

Single hook swings are cheaper in price and easier to install, but if you want more safety go for dual hook option. A single hook swing does not offer much width between mounting points which causes a sharp pinch in the butt during prolonged sessions.  A dual hook swing assure greater width between mounting points and hence a comfortable resting for your hip. You certainly don’t want to conclude a lovely stimulating session with an aching butt. The bottom-line is, if you are planning to enjoy prolonged hours on your sex swing, a dual hook swing is always a safer thing.

Be careful of the harness

Stay away from swings or slings that come with slim harness. The thin designs may cut right into the user’s flesh, leading to a bruised body. You certainly don’t want. thus, it’s better to go for sex swings/slings which come with wider and more comfortable harness.

Don’t eliminate spring

There is a common misconception that you have to get rid of the spring from the sling/swing before using the sex furniture. Worse, even some manufacturers advise for the same. But, this is wrong, very unsafe and you should not ever do something like that. You know, a spring provides elasticity to a device where it is embedded in.  Put simply, the spring absorbs all the shock posed to the swing/sling and helps the furniture to maintain its flexibility. If you remove the spring from your swing/sling, the furniture won’t be able to withstand all the vigorous bouncing and swaying that you have planned to do on the swing. The springs not only helps with an easy bounce but also assures to keep the users safe.

Safety checks prior to every use

Though often overlooked yet this is one of the most important points when we are talking about sex swing/sling usage safety. According to experts, you must get a safety check on the furniture each time you are planning some swing/sling session. Your pup may chew off one side of the harness or there could be a tear somewhere in the sling for prolonged use- anything may happen to affect the health of the swing/sling. Thus, you must be careful to get a thorough check on the furniture to ensure everything is in order for your next action.

No adjustment while sitting

You should not ever adjust the swing or sling while sitting on it or while in action. When one adjusts the swing/sling harness, she automatically drops down to some extent. If you do the adjustments while sitting, the force will be 5x times more of your bodyweight. Your swing or sling won’t be able to accommodate so much weight and you may crash down with a broken ceiling.

Have fun but be safe.

Creation from subtle to gross is heard with your subtle inner ear while you embrace silence.

It is seen in the deer looking with infinitely loving eyes, captivated by a sound coming to him through the ether. Being still while the inner wisdom sound manifests in his heart. Where did it come from, what was its origin? The delicate deer allows himself to merge with ether, in a state of absolute quietness. The deer anticipates the vibration of sound that is to come and resonate through him. Pausing in the glorious field of spaciousness.

The image of the deer reflects the unique quality of loving eyes while the lover and beloved merge and go beyond the physical Loka (world). He is listening with the inner ear to what is longing to be revealed, to what nature has the desire to come into creation or dissolve into nothingness.

Any poet, painter, or musician imbibes this quality of trusting the inner sound. Any human being aligned with shabda (sound) experiences closeness with the Divine. Their naturally arising well of creativity is gushing beauty when they become timeless, merging with sound. They have a naturally arising gift to listen to the Divine and manifest infinite beauty through their voice, their hands, their hearts.

For healing purposes, it is crucial to acknowledge these gifts in the human being.

The Ayurvedic healer imbibes the inner knowingness to acknowledge and encourage the unique and naturally arising expression in the human being. Those humans with a desire to create, are honored and guided to find their path of expressing this gift.

Their innate qualities of sensitivity, delicacy, and love for aloneness or all-one-ness, is the path guiding them within, to the Source of creation. It is these beautiful qualities of akasha (ether) and vayu (air) that attune them with nature. When they create, their deeply balanced prakruti (nature) is being revealed and expressed. The deeper purpose of their life is being honored. The choice they made at the time of conception when the soul entered the womb, is being fulfilled.

It is a gift of the Ayurvedic healer to be able to attune himself and ask the questions: What is longing to be fulfilled in this lifetime for this soul? What is the highest dharma that leads this human being to evolve and living their full potential?

Human beings with vata prakruti are supported when their unique gifts are given space.

How can they connect to this Source when there is no time and space to support that? Their delicate dynamic balance is beautiful. At times they choose to be alone, into the woods, to sit close to the Divine. In silence. It nurtures their being. It allows them to expand and let prana to guide them home. It is the cross point where Ayurveda meets and melts with Tantra.

Once these human beings understand and embrace their own nature, they shift. They move away from the perpetuating thought that something is wrong with them because they don’t fit in, and can’t be or live like what is considered normal.
They start honoring life choices that support their unique nature, and they finally feel there is no longer a need to push or adjust themselves to others.

They start being themselves. Sensitive, delicate and uninhibited. It nurtures their body, mind, and soul in unexpected ways. They start writing poems, paint, chant as the well is gushing creativity through their body vessel. It is their meditation. It is a naturally arising Samyama, the threefold process described in the Yoga Sutra’s of Sri Patanjali in Chapter three, the path revealing supernatural abilities and gifts.

Samyama happens when we follow prana, are captivated by prana and then come home within the Source of the Self.

“Samyama occurs when these three processes flow together harmoniously, integrating the full spectrum of the mind’s potential. ” YS III, 4 , Yoga Sutra’s of Pantanjali as rendered by Mukunda Stiles

For the Tantrika, the sound is the doorway to the Inner Beloved. It is a path of listening with the inner ear and touching the formless. And giving herself fully, without hesitation, to the unknown, unmanifested touch.

All she longs to do is to listen to the sound of the heart of her Beloved and give her heart to that One. To fulfill the natural longing over and over again, to be in the bliss of the poetry of infinite love, unconditionally being held and holding.
Where two become One.