What does it take to become the ultimate dominant? Are you looking for ways to improve your confidence in any type of BDSM relationship? Or does your partner just want to be roughed up during hardcore sex?
If you’re often thinking about those questions, you may not be familiar with all the traits of a true and confident Dom. Luckily, if you’re patient and take some time to investigate the core of dominant and submissive roles, you’ll realize that there’s much more to it than whips, chains, toys, and other kinky accessories. So take a look at this guide on building your confidence as a Dominant!
What Does It Mean to Be a Dominant?
Submission and dominance are notions that can be widely influenced by your perception. If you are a BDSM lover, you may prefer a clear distinction between the two. At times, it can be challenging to understand the true role of a Dom. Some say that brown-eyed and right-handed people are naturally wired to be in control. Others believe that dominance is about rope, pain, and extreme humiliation.
However, playing the dominant role is a much broader term. It can apply to all areas of life. Have you ever tried to take control of a situation and managed to make it work in your favor? If so, you were exercising your dominant traits.
Generally, dominant individuals are defined by their love of power in various situations. They simply like to be in charge. That doesn’t automatically imply sexual dominance. But when it comes to sex, the dominant role extends beyond its popular portrayal.
Sure, you can make your partner wear a pony mask and fuck them in the ass to turn their body into your submissive toy. However, to become a better dominant, you have to explore the notion of power play.
Submission and dominance is a mutually beneficial dynamic. Power exchange revolves around exercising safety in boundaries and knowing how to communicate. The key takeaway here is that being truly dominant is a skill you’ll need to master. It doesn’t automatically allow you to do whatever you please with your partner. It’s all about communication, caring for your partner, delivering and receiving stimulation, and knowing how to control a certain experience
Most Women Love Being Dominated
If you are struggling to build confidence, just remember that some people love to be dominated. Many partners, especially women, prefer to relinquish control in bed for various reasons.
For example, in daily life, work and social responsibilities can sometimes become overbearing. That’s why many women choose to be submissive in the bedroom. That can apply to sex in general and not just to BDSM play. Most sex acts usually feature a dominant and submissive partner in one way or another. If you wish to be more confident in bed and explore your dominant role further, pay attention to those dynamics.
Can You Do Whatever You Want to Your Sub?
As mentioned before, communication is crucial in BDSM sex. To become a better Dom, you have to know that, in most cases, you won’t be able to do whatever you want with your Sub. Approval will always be necessary. Moreover, consent should be your top priority. The same goes for safewords. That is especially true concerning acts like impact play, sensory deprivation, torture, etc.
If you or your partner fantasize about dominance and have never tried it, it’s essential to set your boundaries. That is, being dominant requires you to know what you want precisely. It also means that you’ll need to be open to communication. You’ll need to express your desires openly and with confidence.
But, you’ll also have to exercise respect even in the most brutal slave humiliation scenarios. Additionally, you’ll need to have self-control and know when to take responsibility. That is why some believe that the Sub is the one who is actually in charge. In many ways, dominance is mostly about perceived control.
Therefore, you should always make sure to discuss any sexual activity with your partner before trying it. Encourage your significant other and talk to them about their fantasies, desires, and fetishes. Be supportive and incentivize them to be open and experiment with what turns them on.
Pay Attention and Listen
A good Dom also knows how to observe their partner and analyze their reactions. That will be incredibly important if you are just beginning to experiment with BDSM. It’s crucial to pay attention to your partner’s bodily movements and responses.
Remember, you will be in charge and will be responsible for your Sub’s pleasure or pain. Listening to your partner will ensure that you will not harm their emotional, sexual, or physical health. This is incredibly important in new relationships. By paying attention, you’ll learn about your Sub’s limits. Thus, you should invest some time in learning how to observe your partner.
SEE: The Truth About BDSM Relationships
On top of that, it’s also important to, shall we say, learn the ropes. You should invest some time and learn about using sex toys safely. That also applies to bondage gear, whips, ropes, masks, etc. You need to investigate BDSM as much as possible and learn a lot.
What’s more, being observant could also benefit you. It could help you become a better Dom and build more confidence.
Lead Your Sub
If you truly want to train your Sub and make them your slave, you have to combine all of the tips we’ve mentioned so far. You should be aware that a good Dom knows all about timing, patience, listening, respect, and boundaries. In most cases, you won’t be able to cut corners.
However, if you take the time, consider what we’ve said, and hone your skills, you’ll be on the right path. With time, you will know how to take the reins and dominate your partner. You’ll be able to lead her/him on to explore what they want.
Bear in mind that, sometimes, your partner may know how to verbalize their desires. It’s possible that they don’t even know how much dominance they can take. They could only become aware of it when they push their limits and try something new. Knowing this is the secret to becoming a great Dom. So use your dominant traits to reveal her/his hidden desires based on the reactions you’ve observed.
Show Your Dominance in Public
As mentioned before, dominance is not only present in your bedroom or dungeon. It extends far beyond that to all fields of life. If you feel like you are simply too shy to be dominant in bed, you should try to take long term control in daily life.
To build more confidence, you should try to go after what you want. And when you extend your dominance in public, you won’t only improve your sex life and BDSM activities. In fact, you’ll get in touch with your natural self. It’s possible to practice this by taking charge of work-related situations and everyday activities.
Additionally, your dominant and submissive relationship or any type of role play shouldn’t stop when you exit the bedroom. You can exert dominance over your partner in public and take control during mutual activities. Like that, you’ll participate in a kinky game that will make BDSM even hotter. What’s more, you could participate in the BDSM community and join events where you’ll be able to show off your new skills.
Hopefully, this article has shown you the intricacies of being dominant and building self-confidence. So focus on the things we’ve discussed today, and your confidence will surely improve! All that’s left now is to go out there and take control of your slave!